We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
