Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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