hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
