Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
