Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
