Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
In the future we'll all be gay
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
