no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
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He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
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Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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