Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
MIDGETS
????
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
