i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
