soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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