after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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