By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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