my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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