Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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