So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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