Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
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This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
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Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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