she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
