After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My ass is underappreciated
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
