i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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