I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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