dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
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5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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