the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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