we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
