You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize