his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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