Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
