everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
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I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
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Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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