miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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