he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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