His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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