fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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