Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize