you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.