ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep