Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.