She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...