8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My vagina is officially offended.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already