your address is 607B right?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............