Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
