handjob tips. give me some.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
