so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
