I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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