So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
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The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
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I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize