How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
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Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
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We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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