Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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