guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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