Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
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we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
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Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I am available for nakedness
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him