dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I understand Curling. That high.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now