he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
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Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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