Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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