you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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