I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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