I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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