nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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