i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize