I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
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she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
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Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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